Graced
by PodBayDoors
Summary: How Grace should have played out for Sam and Jack, with a little help from Daniel, Janet and Teal'c. Season 7 SG1.Has what I think are missing scenes from Death Knell, Heroes, Lost City and New Order.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission.

* * *

(How Grace should have played out for Sam & Jack, with help from Janet, Daniel and Teal'c. Contains what I think are mising scenes from Death Knell, Heroes, Lost City and New Order.)

* * *

Carter lay in her infirmary bed, still slightly sleepy. She gingerly touched her head, which still throbbed though it had been two days since she'd come off the _Prometheus_.

"Doc Frasier says that won't leave a scar." O'Neill said, watching her from a bedside chair.

Carter laughed slightly, and then winced. "I'm not in the running for any beauty contests."

O'Neill smiled at her. _You'd win anyway._ "Do you want anything? Jell-O?_Astrophysics Today_?"

"No, thanks, I'm not hungry. Just a little tired." She smiled at him. He glanced down at his hands.

"She says your CT scans show the hema- " Jack paused and waved his hand beside his head, "Head thingy has stabilized. I guess they're not going to have to drill a hole in your head after all."

Sam grimaced. "You have a very- graphic way of describing things, sir."

"Yes. It's a real gift." Jack smiled and leaned back. There was silence. "Sam, I'd like to know something."

"Yes, sir." She sensed he was a little uncomfortable.

"You've never said what happened on board the_Prometheus_. I heard the captain's log, and aside from it sounding eerily like _Star Trek_, you never say how you came up with your idea to get out. Captain Ronson said you just went straight to the infirmary and slept."

Sam looked down. "I dreamed it up."

"Well, of _course_ you did, but how?" Jack inquired.

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "I really did dream it up. I had hallucinations. They helped me figure out… figure out how to get out of the cloud."

"They?" O'Neill raised his eyebrows.

Sam bit her lip and looked at him. She looked down and picked at the blankets.

O'Neil suddenly felt badly for pushing her. She'd been through a hell of a lot, saved a lot of lives. Maybe someday she could tell him how, but obviously something bothered her. He knew what kind of crazy things could happen out there.

"It's okay Carter. He touched her arm briefly, and stood up. "I'll let you get back to sleep."

"All, right, Colonel."

He turned to go, then looked back, his hands in his pockets. "Carter…"

"Yes, sir." She looked up.

"Don't _ever _do that again." O'Neill said, looking steadily into her brilliant blue eyes. Sam nodded. The look in his eyes scared her.

A few days later, O'Neill walked into the infirmary only to find himself in the middle of an argument.

"Janet, please, let me go home. I'm tired of being here, I don't have anything to do." Carter pleaded.

"No, Sam." Janet stated firmly.

"I won't get up. I'll stay in bed. I'll be very good, please."

"I don't believe one word of that, Sam. You know very well that you _can't_ lie around and do nothing, which is why I'm forcing you to."

"She's got your number, Carter." Jack said, smiling.

Sam glared at him. "You're no help."

"I didn't know I was supposed to be." Jack said, but her comment made him think.

"You need at least 48 more hours of bed rest. If you were up and around, got dizzy or passed out and fell, you could re-injure that area and no one would know. You could die." Janet was resolute.

"But you're not _doing_ anything." Carter flopped back on the bed.

"Sam, doctors hate it when their patients think careful observation isn't 'doing anything'." She put Sam's chart down. "Now, if Jacob hadn't had to go back so soon, he could watch you. But you need round-the-clock assistance and observation. You have a nasty subdural hematoma."

"Well, doc, I- I mean we- SG1, we could watch her. We could take turns." Jack said, thoughtfully. "If you think it's safe. Because Carter here bonked her head, we're all on leave for a few days, anyway."

"Colonel, that's not necessary…"

"Uh." Jack raised a hand. "Let's hear what the doc has to say."

Janet raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. "It could work. You're not on any monitoring and only taking oral medications."

"Take it or leave it, Sam. It's the only way you're getting out." Jack smirked.

Sam pressed her lips together. "All right. It's a deal." She was embarrassed, but her desire to get out of the dreary infirmary was stronger.

A few hours later, she was ready to be released. An orderly helped Sam into the wheelchair. Dr. Frasier turned to the clerk and asked for an airman to bring a car around to pick up Major Carter.

"I'll take her home," O'Neill said, "They don't have to send a car."

"Oh, there's going to be one disappointed airman up there," Janet teased. Carter rolled her eyes.

"He can take her car home, then." O'Neill suggested.

"Sir, I rode my bike." Carter said, looking up at him with concern.

"Uh oh." O'Neill's eyes widened. "Forget it then. I'm authorizing the use of deadly force if anyone gets near the bike."

"Thank you, sir." Sam smiled and settled into the chair.

"Remember, Colonel, Call me if she starts to behave oddly in any way." Janet cautioned, unlocking the wheelchair brakes and pushing Sam over to where Jack stood.

"We'll be able to tell?" He wheeled her out of the infirmary and headed toward the elevators, an airman trailing behind with her duffle bag.

Dr. Frasier followed quickly behind them. "Back yourselves into the elevator, sir. And no popping wheelies," she warned, only half-jokingly. Jack turned and gave her a wry grin. Janet stopped there, watching them go, a concerned smile on her face._Don't mess it up, Jack_.She turned and went back into the infirmary.

Sam felt like an idiot being wheeled out of the base, but knew her protestations were worthless, and she did still feel fairly weak. Jack got her out to his truck without a problem. "You can toss that bag there, airman." Jack waved at the back of the truck. "Dismissed."

"Sorry, Sam, I wasn't thinking. It's a long way up." O'Neill looked from her to the high truck seat.

"Colonel, I'm not an invalid, please." Sam said, frustrated. O'Neill nodded and put the brakes on the chair, while Sam flipped the footrests away. As she got up, he put a hand on her arm. She looked at him.

"Oh for crying out loud, Sam. It's doctor's orders. Can't you just let someone help _you_ for a change?" Jack said. He wondered why he volunteered for this. Frasier had said she'd be a very bad patient.

He shut the door, fiddled with the chair for a moment, but couldn't figure out how to fold it, and tossed the whole thing in the back of the truck. Then they drove to Sam's house.

Sam sat on her couch. It was great to be home, given the events of the past couple of weeks. Jack poked around in the refrigerator. "Carter, your fridge is worse than mine. We're going to have to order out." He came back with a coke and a beer, and sat down.

"No beer for you. Here's a coke. Do you want a glass?" Jack popped the can.

"No, the less work for you, the better." Sam said, self-consciously.

"Carter! You've got a _dishwasher_."

She sighed. "I'm sorry you have to baby sit me, sir." Her face was flushed with embarrassment, and she didn't realize how it made her look that much more beautiful.

Jack felt something in the pit of his stomach. He got up and sat by her on the couch. He felt helpless, and as usual, couldn't figure out what to do to reassure her.

"C'mere," he said, and put his arm around her. She laid her head on his shoulder. He hoped she'd say something so he wouldn't have to.

"It was awful, Jack." Sam's voiced cracked.

"That's Colonel, to you." Jack said, teasingly.

Sam was silent. Jack sighed. He could have let it go, but to hear her say his name- it made him feel something down deep in his chest that he just didn't want to deal with.

"Want to talk about it?" Jack brushed her hair back behind her ear so he could see her face, and instantly wished he hadn't. That was behavior not becoming a CO- and there was that feeling again.

"I don't know. My head is killing me. Do you know where my pills are?" Sam said, her eyes closed, her face pale.

"They're right here." He'd put everything he thought she might want on the end table. Jack picked up the bottle and read the prescription. "Is this a one or a two pill headache?"

"Two." Sam said, simply.

Jack took his arm from around her shoulders and opened the bottle, then gave her the pills and her coke.

He took a drink of his beer. "We need to get you onto some better beer, Sam."

"Some other day, when I can drink it, okay?" She picked up his hand and drew it back over her shoulders, eyes still closed. It must be the drugs, he thought.

Sam was so still that Jack thought she'd fallen asleep, when she slowly picked up her head and looked at him. "People appeared to tell me what I should do about the ship- mostly. It was as if they were real. Not at all like a hologram. I remember that I could- " Sam stopped and swallowed hard, "touch them."

"Anybody we know?" Jack broke her gaze and took another drink.

"Well, Teal'c came to warn me about not falling asleep." Sam said.

"Sounds like him."

"Daniel told me to talk to the cloud, that it might be sentient."

Jack chuckled, "That's our boy."

"Yes, isn't it?" Sam smiled. "I think I was projecting what I thought they would think of, to get me to think of it. As if I wouldn't listen to myself, but would listen to them." She was getting dizzy, and tired. "Am I making sense?"

Jack smiled at her. "As much as you ever do." Sam put her head back down on his shoulder.

"You were there, too, Jack." This time, he didn't correct her.

"Did I tell you how to fix the ship?" He couldn't imagine what he knew about that.

"No." Sam said, sleepily.

Well, huh. Jack thought, slightly peeved.

"We didn't talk about the ship."

Jack didn't say anything. He waited for her to explain, but soon her deep, even breathing let him know she was asleep.

Jack wanted her to sleep soundly. He went down the hallway, found her room, and turned back the covers. Then he came back, picked her up and put her in her bed. Jack watched her, and when she rolled over and curled up, he was satisfied. There was a chair in there that he could sleep in, so he turned to get another beer. Just before his hand hit the light switch he looked at her bureau and stopped dead in his tracks. There, among a few other pictures of friends and family, was a small picture of him.

Well, she was entitled to heave pictures of her team around the house. They were all friends. And it was true; there was a picture of SG-1, and another of Hammond and Frasier. This picture was clearly different, though. It was a candid close-up of him in plaid shirt, smiling, with his sunglasses on a cord around his neck. She must have gotten it from Daniel, the team shutterbug, and cropped it. Jack put it back, his heart pounding.

_I should just call Daniel or Teal'c now. I shouldn't be staying here._ He looked back at Sam, sleeping in the twilight, her chest imperceptibly rising and falling. Then he went down to the kitchen to get that beer.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam woke to the bright morning sun streaming in between the slatted blinds. She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey, Sam." Daniel said, smiling. He sat in the chair in the corner of the room, reading, with his feet on the bed.

"Daniel?" Sam was confused. "How long have you been here?"

"A few hours. Jack went over to his house for a while. He promised to bring back some donuts. Do you need anything, Sam?" Daniel said with concern. He got up and sat by her on the bed.

"No, Daniel. I took two of those pills last night and they knocked me out cold. I still feel pretty well." Sam smiled at him. She felt so fortunate to be able to work with people who'd become her good friends instead of just members of the same unit.

"I do want to take a shower, though," she stretched.

"No you don't." Daniel said.

"What?" Sam said, puzzled.

"Since it would be most ungentlemanly of me to help you with your shower," Sam went to ruffle his hair, and he ducked, "You're taking a bath. That way you can't fall down."

"Ah, good idea, Daniel." Sam sat on the side of the bed while he filled up the tub.

He came out. "No rubber duckies, but it'll do." Then he smiled, walked out, and shut her bedroom door.

Sam got up and went to the bureau. She pulled a few things out. Opening up the sweater drawer, she found Jack's picture, face down on top of the clothing. She picked it up.

Her face felt hot and her ears were ringing. How did that get in there- and who put it in? How stupid was she, to think that no one would ever see that? She put it back in and shut the drawer.

Jack came in the front door, whistling, with a box of donuts in his hands. Daniel sat at the island counter, reading the newspaper and sipping coffee. He looked up. "Well, you seem pretty chipper."

"What's not to be chipper about? I've got a few days off and a box of donuts. Pretty good start, wouldn't you say?" Jack put the donuts on the counter and tossed his jacket over the back of the couch. "How's our little head case?"

"Taking a bath." Daniel said.

"Good- I mean, she'll feel better." Jack said awkwardly. "Thanks for making the coffee."

"Can't live without it." Daniel lifted his cup, smiling.

"Personally, my essential beverage is beer, but coffee's a close second." Jack opened up the box.

"Do you want me to stay, Jack? I brought some books. Or Teal'c can spell you for a while."

"Nope. I've got my whole day planned. She's got a really nice TV and there are some Stanley Cup playoffs I don't intend to miss."

Daniel thought for a moment. "Jack, maybe you _should_ leave for a while."

Jack put his cup down and looked intently at Daniel. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Daniel sighed. "I'm here because I care about Sam."

"Well, Daniel, that makes two of us." Jack said, wondering what Daniel was leading up to.

Daniel looked down at his coffee, then at Jack. "Look, Jack. I'm not military and there's probably a lot I don't understand about the standard relationship between a CO and a subordinate. But I've been around long enough to know that whatever is going on between you and Sam is not a standard relationship."

Jack shook his head. "Oh, come on, Daniel. We've never even been on a date, for crying out loud." He put a couple of donuts on a plate.

"I know, Jack, but you _can't_. And why would that matter anyway when you're with her all the time, sometimes for days at a time? Don't forget, I was with you just a few days back when we were out searching for Sam. I haven't seen you that upset in a long time. Maybe never."

"And you weren't?" Jack cocked his head.

"Not like that. You seemed almost- desperate." Daniel stated bluntly.

"Daniel, I think you've been in the old sarcophagus one too many times." Jack was getting a little impatient with Daniel's insistence- and a little uncomfortable.

"I think you're in denial, Jack, because of the regulations, whatever they are. I'm not the only one who wonders about you, two, either."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "That base is a rumor mill, Daniel, and you know it. There's nothing going on. That's it."

"Jack, you're older than Sam, and probably a little tougher, at least inside. Sometimes you can be a real bastard."

"Leave it alone, Daniel." Jack said, his voice low.

"Be careful with her, Jack. Don't mess up her life." Daniel put down his coffee cup.

"I think you should go now." Jack said, his jaw tight.

Daniel's eyes flashed. Two of his best friends were on a collision course, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He grabbed his book bag and headed down the hall, just as Sam came out.

"Daniel? What's wrong?" Sam put her hand on his shoulder.

"Be careful, Sam." Daniel looked at her with concern.

"I am careful. I'm just going to be a couch potato all day, I promise."

"That's not what I mean." Daniel said. He sighed. She probably had even less of a clue than Jack did.

"Take care. I'll see you in a little while." He kissed her cheek and left.

Sam walked into the kitchen area, and inhaled sharply. She'd seen that light blue shirt before. O'Neill stood with his arms crossed, his face inscrutable. Sam's breath returned.

"What was that?"

"Daniel's delusional." O'Neill poured Sam a cup of coffee.

"I thought that was my area of expertise." Sam sat in one of the high counter chairs.

"These are great donuts, Carter." He pushed the box to where she sat, then brought her coffee around to her and sat down.

"Thank you, sir." She took a bite. It was good. But he hadn't answered her question.

"Why was Daniel upset, Colonel?"

"Carter, I've been interrogated enough for one morning. He's all right." The tone of his voice made it clear he was finished with the topic.

"Yes, sir." She ate the last of her donut. There was powdered sugar everywhere.

"Didn't you just take a bath? Now look at you, you're a mess." O'Neill smiled at her.

"I can't help it sir, these are my favorites- there's just no way to eat them neatly." She brushed the powder off of her shirt.

Without even thinking, O'Neill reached up and wiped a small amount of sugar from her lower lip with his thumb. Sam looked up at him in surprise.

"I… it bothered me." Jack said. Another move not befitting a CO, he thought. Still, Daniel was blowing things way out of proportion.

Sam wiped her mouth on a paper napkin. "Do I pass inspection, now, sir?" she smiled.

"Yes Major." _Do you ever_.

Sam swept the remaining powder into her hand and got up to put it in the sink, but her movement was too fast and she suddenly became lightheaded. She grabbed the edge of the counter.

Jack got up so fast he knocked his chair over. "Sam?"

"I need to lie down," Sam whispered. Her knees started to buckle. Jack quickly picked her up before she fell very far, and he laid her on the couch.

He knelt by her side with his hand on her face. "Carter, are you alright?"

Sam opened her eyes. "I'm fine. I just got up too fast." The look of concern on O'Neill's face alarmed her more than her dizzy spell had.

"Does your head hurt?" He touched the side of her head where the wound was.

"No, I took a pill after my bath. I'm fine, really." Sam nodded.

"Carter, I'm calling Dr. Frasier." Jack said firmly.

"No, sir, please don't. I'm fine." Sam pleaded.

"You always say that. Right up until the second you pass out." Jack got up, took his cell phone out and called the base.

Sam could hear Janet's voice on the line.

"No, she didn't hit her head." Jack said, looking down at Sam.

"No. No loss of … what did you call it? No, none of that." Jack listened.

"Stop talking about me like I'm a child. Give me the phone, Colonel." Sam's eyes narrowed.

"She's asking me because she knows you'd say anything to stay out of the infirmary." Jack explained, smiling. He handed the phone to Sam.

"I took one pill after I had a bath." Sam said. She listened.

"I got up to go into the kitchen, I wasn't thinking and I got up too fast. Okay. Oh, come on, Janet, tell _me."_

Sam listened. She gave the phone back to O'Neill and crossed her arms with a look of disgust. He grinned at her, listened to Janet, and hung up.

"She thinks the combination of the hot bath, the narcotics and getting up too soon caused me to become lightheaded." Sam said. "What else?"

"More strict bed rest, more fluids and no walking without help." Jacked ticked the items off on his fingers. Sam rolled her eyes. "Dr.'s orders, Carter. _Military_ Dr.'s orders. You're stuck."

"With all due respect, sir, you don't have to look so happy about it."

Jack smiled at her. She wanted to be mad at him, but found it difficult because of that smile. She shook her head a little, and wondered again about the picture in her drawer.

"Can I get you anything, Carter?"

"No, sir."

Jack remembered when she'd called him by name yesterday. He wondered what she would think if they just dispensed with all the military decorum. There wouldn't be anything wrong with that. Maybe it would be nice to be able to spend time with her and not think about the job.

He sat in the chair nearest to her, and put his feet up on the coffee table. "You know, Carter, before you fell asleep yesterday you were in the middle of telling me about the _Prometheus,_and the dreams you had."

"Yes, sir, I remember."

"Samantha," Jack said in exasperation, "you don't have to call me 'sir'."

Sam's eyes widened. What was going on here? "My God, Jack, that's almost what you said when I saw you on the ship. And not only that, I swear you're wearing the same shirt now." She looked genuinely confused.

"In your dream, I didn't, well you didn't- shoot me or something?" Jack smiled. "I'd like to hope I'm going to live."

Sam smiled. "No, nothing happened to you." She paused. "I kept seeing a little girl named Grace. I've never met her before, ever. She followed me around the ship and kept me on track. I got the idea for the hyperspace bubble from her. She was_blowing_ bubbles."

"So you saw SG-1 and the little girl?" Jack queried. She'd still never said what they'd talked about on the ship.

"No, Jacob was there too. Basically telling me to get a life." Sam sighed.

"Smart man." Jack nodded.

"But I'm happy _now_." Sam sat up a little and pulled her legs up, defensively.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much." Jack tipped his head curiously.

Sam looked at him. Quoting _Hamlet._ She wondered how well she really knew him.

Jack got up and refilled both of their coffee cups, then sat down at the end of the couch.

"You never did get around to telling me what _we_ talked about on that ship." He looked at her directly.

Sam was silent. There's just no way she was ever going to tell him about that. "It's not what "we" said, Jack. I was just talking to myself. Basically, it's what I think you think that's all. And I could be wrong."

"You could be right." Jack said, encouragingly.

She was silent.

Jack took a deep breath. He looked down into his cup as if it held tea leaves that he could read, instead of coffee. He knew there was more she wasn't telling him. "Daniel tried to give me some advice, Sam."

"About what?" she asked.

"About you." Jacked look down again, and then at Sam. "While you were lost in space, I lost my mind."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were that concerned." Sam's heart started to beat faster.

He didn't know what to say. Jack looked out the window and took a deep breath. "I like that you have a picture of me." Sam put her forehead on her knees. "I put it away before Daniel got here, because I thought he'd make a big deal about it- but he made a big deal about me being here, anyway."

He was quiet for a long while, then Jack's voice shook ever so slightly. "Those were the worst four days of my life- since Charlie died." He touched her hands, and Sam slowly raised her head to meet his eyes.

She put her legs down and he put both arms around her, burying his face in her hair. "I thought you were gone for good." Sam put her arms around his waist. Neither of them said a word for several minutes.

"At least _I_ had lots of company." Sam tilted her head up, smiling.

Jack's eyes locked on to hers. Mesmerized by those blue eyes, he forgot who he was. He kissed her, very gently, until she kissed him back.

Then he pulled back and sat away from her a little. He really _was_ losing his mind. "I'm sorry Sam, this was a really bad idea. I just didn't think it through." Somehow, those felt like empty words that he had to say- and he was good at that. The entire rest of his being, however, wanted to take her up and make her a part of him for as long God or the USAF would allow.

Sam was tired. She felt emotionally and physically battered, just like she had on the ship. It just took too much energy to keep playing the game. "You're right. It is a bad idea, but it's not going to go away, Jack. I thought three years ago that we could just will it away, but it didn't work. Not for me, anyway."

Jack nodded.

"You told me I needed to find out about you, if I really wanted to know." Sam said, quietly.

"When did I say that?" Jack looked puzzled.

"On the ship." Sam said.

Jack smiled. "Smart idea."

"It was my idea, Jack."

Jack sighed and picked up his coffee cup. It was cold. What he really wanted was a beer, anyway. He got up. "Would you like anything?"

"A coke, please."

Jack walked over to the refrigerator. He got a beer and a coke, and brought them back.

"Alcohol already?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"It's 11 o'clock. Besides, you're driving me to drink." He sat in a chair, away from her. "So, what else did you make me say on that ship?"

"Not much else," Sam paused. "You said you weren't that complex."

"Well, that's true, don't you think?"

Sam smiled, "Oh no, I was definitely fooling myself on that point."

"Come on, Sam. You know me better than anyone else. I know that's not saying much, since I've almost perfected my… emotional cloaking technology."

Sam smiled at that. "Nice turn of phrase."

"Isn't it?" Jack raised a toast to himself, and took a drink.

Sam looked down.

"Maybe the problem isn't me." Jack looked at her intently. "You've had a guy on every planet, and a broken engagement."

"I thought about that, but it's because I can never really have you, can I?" Sam's eyes welled up with tears. "When I first woke up, and saw you that day in the infirmary, I made up my mind to move on, and really give it a try with someone else, someday."

Jack looked at her, and he got up to sit down on the couch beside her. "Don't do it."

"Give me another option, Jack." Sam said quietly.

"You're the smarts in this outfit." Jack wiped the tears from her face with his fingertips. Then he took her faced in his hands and kissed her again, harder this time, pushing her back against the couch. Sam ran her hands up over his face and up into his hair. The depth of her passion surprised her. He was probably right. She couldn't have him but she didn't want anyone else.

"Jack, please, don't do this to me." She'd made her choice.

"Sam, I'm not going to forget about you." He brushed the hair out of her eyes. "You said yourself it didn't work."

"I can't wait any more. You've been married, Jack. You had a son."

Jack studied her face for a moment. "That was a long time ago.

"Yes, but you had them. You still have the memories of a real life." Sam was tired of settling, of compromise and of denial.

"Sam." Jack sighed. "I'll always be there for you. So do whatever you damn well want to. When that doesn't work out, I'll be here."

He got up and dialed the base, then walked into the kitchen. He spoke for a few moments, and hung up the phone. "Teal'c's going to take a car and come out for awhile." He put both hands on the counter and looked down.

"Are you coming back?" Sam asked quietly.

"Of course." he said, almost resentfully. Then he slammed his hand down on the granite and walked down the hall to wait.


	3. Chapter 3

"Good morning, Major Carter." Teal'c smiled broadly at Sam.

"Hi, Teal'c." Sam said, her eyes still a bit red.

"You do not seem well." Concern crossed his face.

"It's all right, Teal'c. My head is fine." Sam sighed.

"Colonel O'Neill also did not seem well. Have you had a disagreement?"

"I have had quite a few disagreements with Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c." Sam smiled weakly. "Don't worry about it."

"Your orders are to rest." Teal'c stated. "May I be of any assistance to you?"

"I could use one of those little pills over there." Sam pointed. Teal'c removed one and handed it to her with her now-warm coke. She didn't care, and gulped the tablet down.

Teal'c sat down. He was quiet for a long moment.

"Major Carter, I have been your friend for many earth years, have I not?" Teal'c asked, seriously.

"That's true, Teal'c."

"I wish to discuss something personal with you." Teal'c said, gravely.

"Sure, Teal'c. Anything." Sam sat up, concerned. Teal'c had been such solid support for SG-1 for so long, she couldn't picture him with a personal matter important enough to discuss with her, as private a man as he was. She smiled. It must have something to do with a woman.

"A true warrior faces up to the thing that he fears most." Teal'c declared.

Wow, Sam thought, she must be _something_. She nodded in agreement.

"You and Colonel O'Neill must face the fact that you love each other. To do otherwise will only continue to create difficulties for yourselves and those around you." He looked directly into Sam's eyes.

Sam coughed. "Teal'c," she stammered, "What are you talking about?"

"It is not necessary for you to hide your feelings from me, Major Carter. I have observed you and Colonel O'Neill for many years now. It was I who sat with Dr. Frasier while you were retested on the zatarc detector. I comforted you when O'Neill was lost with Maybourne, and very recently, I attempted to comfort him when you were lost aboard the Prometheus."

Sam had never heard Teal'c speak that many sentences all in a row. He must be very serious about this. "Teal'c, presuming you are right- and I'm not admitting anything here- what do you suggest we do?" Sam never in her life thought she would be asking for romantic advice from an alien man.

"You must tell each other how you feel. That is all." Teal'c sat back in his chair.

If only it were so simple, she thought. She smiled at Teal'c. The second pill was starting to kick in. "Teal'c would you help me get down to my room? I'm very tired."

"Of course, Major Carter." He escorted her to her room, and sat in the chair watching her, per Colonel O'Neill's orders.

Jack came back that evening. Teal'c and Sam were watching _Survivor_ on the TV. Jack looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow. Sam shrugged.

Teal'c looked up. "It is fascinating, O'Neill, that people would intentionally set out to inconvenience, embarrass and potentially injure themselves in front of millions of television viewers. I do not understand this world."

"I don't either, most of the time, Teal'c." Jack took off his coat.

Teal'c stood up. "I will depart now. Major Carter should not have too many visitors at once." He looked directly at Sam for a moment; smiled, nodded his head, and left.

Jack watched him go. He set a six-pack of coke and a pizza on the counter. His mood seemed to have improved considerably.

"What was that?" He nodded in Teal'c's direction.

"Nothing."

Jack opened two cokes and put the rest in the fridge. "Don't tell me that, Carter. He smiles once about every two weeks." Jack got down two plates and put pizza on each one, and carried one to her. "Sorry, we're going to have to eat in the living room."

Sam ate a bite. "Mmm. Nice warm pizza." She noticed it was starting to get cold in the room since the sun had set.

Jack looked over at the fireplace. "Do you want me to start a fire?"

"Sure," Sam smiled. "Pick up that remote."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Jack exclaimed, turning the gas fireplace on with the press of a button. "This is _so_ wrong." He tossed the remote onto the coffee table.

They finished watching the playoffs, each rooting for opposing teams. The Sharks beat the Avalanche. Sam gloated.

"Are you always so difficult, Sam?" Jack pouted. He took his hockey very seriously. "How can you root against the home team?"

Sam shrugged. "Is that where you got this?" She ran her finger over a scar that ran vertically through the middle of his left eyebrow.

Jack had to think, since he pretty much had scars everywhere. "No, that's where I took the butt of a rifle when we went back to 1969, remember?"

"1969. No wonder it looks like an old scar." Sam smiled.

"_I'm_ old, " he said, "look at this hair."

"Oh for heaven's sake, Jack I know how old you are. You'll get no sympathy from me." Sam poked his chest.

Their eyes connected. Jack fought back the urge to kiss her. He'd never been this conflicted in his life. He changed the subject to something easier and opened Pandora's box, instead.

"What had Teal'c so happy this afternoon?"

Sam looked down. She thought about what Teal'c had said, and her hallucinations aboard the ship.

"Teal'c knows, Jack. Daniel suspects, but Teal'c knows." She stopped. "He said I needed to face my fears." She looked up at him with an unsettling combination of determination and resignation.

"And that would be…?" Jack knew from his special ops training that even if he thought his pounding heartbeat was audible, it really wasn't.

"That would be you."

Sam closed her eyes in surrender. "Running away isn't going to help." She sighed and put her head down on Jack's shoulder. He put his hand on her head, and exhaled, slowly.

She raised her head and his eyes locked onto hers like targets. Jack put both hands on her head, digging his fingers into her hair, then brought her lips to his, kissing her slowly and deeply, for a very long time.

"How's your head?" he whispered, his cheek on hers.

"It's fine." Sam ran her fingers under his collar, kissing his neck.

Jack closed his eyes. He felt dizzy, and that tight feeling in his chest came back. It was getting hard to breathe. He laid his head back while Sam lips grazed his jaw line. Jack tilted his head forward and found her lips again. His need for her was insanely strong, but he wanted to be careful. He stopped kissing her, holding her face in his hands. "Sam."

"Dr. Frasier said I had to stay down. I'm down," she said, her breathing shallow.

"You're so logical." Jack's lips just touched hers. "I love that about you."

He took her down her to her room, sat her on the bed, then got up and replaced the photograph. Jack sat down next to her and held her hands. She was so beautiful, and so good. She probably would be better off without him, with his dark side and his tendency to not give a damn about a lot of things. He'd have to start giving a damn.

"Jack, don't look so sad. I'm all right." Sam reached up to touch his face.

"I just want you to stay that way. Sam, I'm not very nice."

"You underestimate yourself, Jack. You always have. You're the best, most honorable person I know, or you wouldn't be here." Sam said. "You've just got a few rough edges." Sam put her hand on his face and kissed him as if to erase any lingering doubts- and then it became one of deep want and unspoken need. She felt like an empty glass that desperately needed to be filled.

Jack pulled back slightly, his hands on her shoulders. "Sam- there's no going back." His eyes were dark with pure desire, but he was giving her one last chance to save them both.

She didn't take it. " I know."

Jack pulled her onto the bed with him and ran his strong hands slowly over her body, then kissed her throat and unbuttoned her blouse, his hands shaking, her breath coming in shallow gasps. He tried to be gentle, but it wasn't long before the heat fused their bodies together like melted glass, and in a few minutes more they shattered under the intense force of years of desire.

Jack opened his eyes to daylight. The room felt a little cold. He really needed to figure out where the thermostat was. He looked over at Sam, with her bare back exposed. He pulled up the comforter and kept watching. It was all he could do to keep from touching her again. He rolled back onto his back. _I can't begin to imagine what she'd be like if she didn't have a head injury._ His heart began to pound.

Jack searched around the house until he found the guest bath and took a shower there, to keep from waking her. Then he made coffee and went back to the chair in the bedroom, keeping watch. It occurred to him they had another twenty-four hours until the carriage turned back into a pumpkin. And then it came to him.

He called Teal'c. He didn't put the photo away.

Jack returned with two boxes of donuts, because Teal'c would need his own. Jack traded places with Teal'c, and in a few minutes, she finally woke up. "How's your head?"

"It's really fine. I feel great." Sam smiled. Jack felt a lump in his throat. She was gorgeous. He remembered how her hair got so tangled, and shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

"Want some coffee?" Jack managed to say. She nodded.

"Teal'c's here." he said, just in case. Then he went to get the coffee. Teal'c had finished his donuts. He looked solemnly at Jack. "Have you and Major Carter resolved your differences?"

Jack smiled slightly. "We have. Thanks Teal'c"

Teal'c nodded, and left. Jack took the coffee back to Sam. "Would you like me to run your bath water for you?" he asked.

"If you help me, I can take a shower." Sam said innocently.

Jack groaned. God help me, he thought. "No, Sam. I'd have some explaining to do if you slipped. You're going to take a bath, and I'm going to take a cold shower. Again."

After she was dressed, had her donuts, and brushed off all the powder without incident, they sat down on the couch together.

"Sam, tomorrow- you won't need me here." Jack said, his voice deep and quiet.

"I know, Jack. Sam's eyes were downcast. "Just don't request that I be taken off SG-1."

Jack was shocked. "I would never do that. All the colonels want you- I mean on their teams," he stumbled, "But no one can watch your six like I can."

Sam smiled. Jack smacked his forehead with his hand. "What I mean is, you're not going into the field without me."

"So, what you're saying is, Jack, that we both go, or we both don't go." Sam summarized.

"Yes." Jack was quiet. "I'd give it up, retire even, if you'd stop going through the gate. Until then, I'm going with you." Jack didn't like the way that sounded, like some type of ultimatum. He waited.

"The way I see it," Sam said, "Is that I won't let you quit for me. You're the best Colonel at the SGC. You're going to be best General at the SGC very soon, I think. They need you, Jack." Sam said. It broke her heart to say it, but every word was true.

"You never put yourself first, do you Sam?" Jack put his hand on the back of her neck and kissed her.

"Neither do you." She looked at him. "I guess we're just back where we started, then." Feeling the tears coming again, she put her head down.

"No, Sam. Look at me." Jack couldn't deal with her tears. "Stop that." he brushed them away. "There's light at the end of the tunnel. There's no way that you, at least, won't be promoted. Pretty soon, we won't be on the same team, or maybe any team at all. We'll be too damned important to be doing what's really important."

He coaxed a weak smile from her.

"That's better." He took a deep breath. "So, I went out and got you a present just to help you remember me, wherever in the universe you end up."

He put his hand in his shirt pocket, held it out to her and opened it. In it was a diamond ring.

Her face went white. She picked it up. Jack put on his best poker face as he watched hers. He gently took it from her fingers, picked up her left hand and slipped it on.

"Someday, Sam." Jack's eyes were filled with pain, desire- and hope.

She put her head down on his chest and cried. This time, he didn't try to stop her.

After a dinner of Chinese take-out, they sat at the counter reading fortunes. Since they weren't very good forecasts, they dismissed it as superstition. Sam had felt much better all day, no headaches or dizzy spells. Jack was relieved. She seemed like her old self again.

She twisted the ring on her finger. It was beautiful. She had no idea how Jack, of all people, could have come up with this.

As if reading her thoughts, he pulled another ring out of his pocket and laid it on the granite counter. "I've seen you with this one, before. I thought it would be close, so I took it to the jewelers and asked him to match it up to the same size, nicest one they had." He looked her, and shrugged.

"You do know he gave you the most _expensive_ one they had." Sam smiled.

"Yeah, I didn't look at the total. On the bright side, it didn't go over my credit limit." He kissed her, wrapping his arms around her tightly enough that she could barely breathe. Sam broke the embrace and pulled Jack's t-shirt off over his head. Seeing him in the light this way literally made her shake. She kissed his throat and slowly ran her hands over his muscular shoulders and back, and through the hair on his chest, feeling his heart pounding under her fingertips. Her whole body tightened, and she scooted forward to be able to touch him more, just a little more.

That was all Jack could take. He led her over to the fireplace and turned it on, then laid her on her back in front of it, straddling her and holding down her hands just to keep them off of him a little while longer. Words seemed superfluous. They looked into each other's eyes for as long as they could stand it, and then Jack leaned down and kissed Sam fiercely until the sweat from his body dropped on to hers. This time, neither one of them held anything back.

In the morning, Sam found Jack staring out the back patio doors, one forearm on the window, his head down. She came up behind him in her bathrobe and put her arms around him.

"Damn it, Sam. I can't do this."

Sam laid her head on his back. "You have to. Jack. You have to leave."

"I wish I'd never brought you home." Jack turned to her. The sadness and fear in his face frightened Sam.

"You don't really mean that.," she asked, cautiously.

He sighed, and shook his head.

Sam looked sadly up at him. "Things are going to be harder now than they were before."

"I don't want to hear it."

She ignored him. "The best thing is for us just to go back to normal, whatever that is, and wait. I think we can. Just a little while longer."

Jack stroked her hair and kissed her. He couldn't imagine how he could forget about this, and just wait until the timing was better. They held each other closely for several minutes, as if to permanently imprint themselves with the feel, taste and scent of each other.

Jack lifted her face up by her chin and kissed her deeply, feeling her heart start to pound and her body press into him. He hoped to God he was the only one who could make her motor run like this. Jack undid the belt to her robe and ran his hands over her naked curves, holding her against him. 'One for the road?" he whispered, mischievously.

"Jack, you're incorrigible." Sam put her arms around his neck, smiling.

"Wait until you're Mrs. O'Neill. You'll be sorry then."

"I don't think so." She kissed him as the bathrobe hit the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Several weeks later, SG-1 was on a routine evaluation of an uninhabited planet. Teal'c and Daniel were trying to decipher writings on several enormous broken pylons that were the former markers of the gate. Carter and O'Neill had finished their patrol and were waiting on the steps of the gate to return home.

"Thanks for finally allowing me to go on a standard recon with you, sir." Carter said.

"Do I detect some sarcasm, there, Major?" Jack was scanning the distant reaches of the valley.

"Perhaps, Colonel." Sam was kneeling, putting some soil samples in her backpack.

"I don't owe you an explanation, Carter." O'Neill said.

"No, you don't." Carter pulled the straps on her pack down tight.

Jack was silent for a moment.

"You were sick, Sam. I couldn't take you out in the field until you were cleared to go."

Sam looked up at him, sunglasses on. "I was cleared a couple of weeks ago." She put her arm through a carry strap, hoisted the pack and stood up, still looking at O'Neill. "I think you're avoiding me, and that's affecting your command. Sir."

"You should have started that statement 'With all due respect,' Major." Jack was not happy to have his judgment questioned.

"Sorry, sir." Sam said. She put her other arm through the strap.

"Sam. It's hard for me. I don't know if I can get used to this arrangement." Jack said quietly. "Sometimes I think what we did was crazy."

"What part?" Sam asked.

"All of it." Jack said. He got out his canteen.

"We can't erase it, Jack." Sam looked at him. "And I don't want to. I think about it all the time." Jack was glad he couldn't see her eyes. He was sure that what was in them would make him want to take her right there on the stone steps.

"I didn't say anything about erasing it, Sam." He didn't notice she had slipped back into calling him by name. He took a long drink from his canteen and put the lid back on. He looked at her, her pale skin glowing in the setting sun, her blonde hair shining red. He shook his head.

"Jack, I didn't just fall for you when I cracked my head. It's been a long time. You should try to remember that." She turned to look out over the ruins with their lengthening shadows. She didn't particularly like to stay much past dark. Too many unknowns.

Sam walked down the steps to the pylons. "Hey, guys, need some help? I'd like to get home before the boogey man comes out."

O'Neill looked at her with admiration. Don't screw this up, Jack. You need her in more ways than you can count.

Sam sat in her lab, trying to figure out how to revive a dead power crystal from an Al'kesh. Actually, she'd been working on it for weeks, but it always seemed that there was just one more thing to try. She didn't even know what time it was but she was pretty sure it was very late, she hadn't heard any voices for a while, when just then, she did.

"Hi, Carter." O'Neill smiled at her, standing in the doorway.

Her heart skipped a beat. He was so handsome. Don't think about it.

"Hi, Colonel." She put down her probe and shut off the current.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Well, I've been working on this crystal for three weeks, I think I have the electron flow patterns mapped out, but regarding storage, it's just so far past…"

"Carter!" Jack put up his hand. "I said, 'How are _you_?'"

Sam stopped. "Not so bad, but I've definitely been better."

O'Neill stepped inside the lab, and tried to shut the door. "You've got a problem with this door knob. Someone must have whacked it today." He looked down at the knob.

"Oh, that's not good, I have to lock this place up at night." Sam was concerned. She was obsessively protective about her lab. She got up to see what was wrong , and slipped by Jack to have a look.

Before she could touch it he shut the door and locked it.

"Jack?"

He took her by her shoulders, spun her around and pinned her to the door by her arms.

"Stop it, Jack, what's wrong with you?" Her eyes flashed with all the colors from the flickering lights in the lab. His were black pools so deep that she couldn't see the bottom.

"You're what's wrong with me." Jack said, his voice deep and rough. He kissed her so hard it hurt.

Sam was angry. She broke the kiss, turning her head to the side. He kissed the side of her face, his breath hot on her neck. "These rooms all have cameras, you know that." Sam lied.

"This one doesn't, I checked." He pressed her body against the door with his own.

"You're crazy, Jack." Sam said, but he thought he could detect a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I am, " he admitted. "If I let you go, will you promise not to beat me up?"

"I promise."

He released her arms. She put them around his neck, and he put his around her waist. They kissed again, and then stood close in the flickering lights.

The next day Jack sat across from Sam in the nearly empty mess hall. "I'm sorry I tricked you, Sam." Jack said. "But I knew you wouldn't let me get near you."

"You're right." Sam said, eating her Jell-O.

"Was it so bad?" Jack poked at his food.

"No." Sam said. "I'd be lying if I said it was. But it can't happen again, Jack, it's too risky and in the end it just makes things harder."

"You're lucky I didn't rip those BDU's right off of you." Jack smiled.

"I would have taken you out." Sam sweetly smiled back.

"That's true." Jack said. "But at this point I'd pretty much take any kind of physical contact with you that I can get."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're incorrigible."

"You're a heartbreaker." Jack countered.

* * *

"This is Sierra Gulf One Niner, can we get two medics and a stretcher up here?" Colonel O'Neill spoke clearly and quickly. A brief crackle. 

"Yes, we read you, Colonel, where is your location?"

"We're right where the drone went down. Dial home, they can get you exact coordinates."  
"Good idea sir, we'll be right there."

O'Neill sat with his arm around Carter, her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her, not liking what he was seeing. She was very pale- more so than her usual fair coloring. Her hair was matted with dirt and blood and there was a gash on her left temple, and a very deep one on her leg that was still oozing blood.

"How long has it been seen you were hit, Carter?"

"I don't know. Six or seven hours." She could have lost a lot of blood in that time. "How's my Dad? Did you find him?" her voice was clear but weak.

O'Neill squeezed her shoulders slightly. "He's fine. He's already at the SGC."

Since all their equipment had been blown to hell, it could be an hour until the medics arrived. They'd have to come on foot. Jack got up, gently laying Carter against the rock, and walked over to Teal'c.

"I think he's dead, buddy."

Teal'c looked at O'Neil. "These are evil, O'Neill."

"Okay, then he's evilly dead. We need water. See if you can find that stream and bring back as much as you can. Carter's going into shock."

A wave of concern passed over Teal'c's usually impassive face. "I will hurry." He left at a steady trot, heading back into the woods.

Colonel O'Neill returned back to the rocks they'd used as a barricade. Carter was still sitting up. He checked her pulse. About 120 bpm.

"Carter," he put his hand on her shoulder. "Sam." She opened her eyes. They were still a brilliant sky-blue. "You need to drink, as much as possible. Here's my canteen." She took a few gulps.

"No, I mean all of it. Now. That's an order."

"Yes, sir," she sighed slightly and managed to down what was left in the canteen.

"I'm going to lay you down, okay?" He put an arm under her back and another on her shoulder.

"Watch the leg, sir." Carter grimaced.

O'Neill helped her turn parallel to the rock and lie back. He wished he had something to put under her head, but he wanted her to keep her jacket on. He put a better pressure dressing on her leg but left the rough tourniquet she'd made. Her eyes were shut. "Carter, I need to check you over." He didn't want a kick to the head.

"Yes sir." He pulled her shirt out of her pants, rolled her over and looked at her back, then pushed gently on her abdomen and chest. "Anything hurt?"

"No sir." Good. That meant the damage he could see was all there was.

He sat back against the rock. God, he was tired of having to track her down. Hadn't it only been a few months since she was lost on the _Prometheus_? He guessed he should be grateful that she was a survivor. It just worried him that she worried him so much. They'd struck a hard bargain. He turned his head sideways to look at her, and a wave of relief washed over him.

Teal'c returned with the water. Jack knelt by her and put his arm under her shoulders to raise her up just a little. She was awake, but seemed disoriented. Not good. Pulse 140 now. He had a sick feeling in his stomach. She was going into shock. "Carter, drink this, all of it. Now." O'Neill ordered. She drank some, then turned her head away.

"No, leave me alone." Combative. Bad sign.

"Carter, do it, goddammit, or I'll pour it down your throat myself." Teal'c put a hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack relaxed a little. "Carter, please."

She drank. He sat against the rock with her head in his lap. The medic needed to get here quick, or she was going to go out. Teal'c took one last look at the Kull warrior, and sat on the rocks, watching for the medics- or something not so friendly.

Twenty minutes passed. O'Neill made her drink some more. She looked a little better and her pulse was down. He sat her up and put some of the water on a bandanna and wiped her face, cleaning out the head wound. She winced but didn't protest. Not bad- head wounds tended to bleed a lot more than they were worth. He dressed the cut, made her drink again, and she laid her head back down on his shoulder.

The medics showed up.

"Internal injuries, sir?" One of them asked, starting an IV and running it wide open.

"I don't think so." O'Neill helped them get her on the stretcher.

"Nice job, sir." They lifted her up and began the long walk back. One good thing, he thought, if you have to carry someone four miles, it's nice if they don't weigh much.

They got back to the gate, and found it still lying on its side. "Anybody know which way was down? We don't want to put her through and have her fall twenty feet." O'Neill asked.

"When we came through I observed that we landed in with our feet closest to the ring here, O'Neill." Teal'c pointed. He never missed a detail.

"We've been lowering the wounded vertically with ropes. It seems to work", the medic added. O'Neill looked at him dubiously. "They come out horizontally on the other side, sir."

"Uh, okay." O'Neill knelt by Carter's side. "You okay?"

"Fine, sir. Thank you." Sam managed a weak smile.

"I didn't do much, Carter. You invented the weapon that killed it."

"I didn't fire it," she smiled again. O'Neill looked at her. He loved her. It was that simple. And it was killing him. He stood up, and opened a channel.

"Incoming casualty, General. Have a medical team in the gateroom."

"Carter?" O'Neill thought he heard a trace of anxiety in Hammond's voice.

"Yes, sir. She's going to be all right."

"Good work, Colonel. Bring her home."

"_Damn _it!" O'Neill cursed as he landed flat on his back on the gate room ramp.

Carter tilted her head back. "Sir, you were supposed to parachute jump through the event horizon."

O'Neill sat up, rubbing his back. "Somebody give this woman some sedatives," he looked at her grimacing. "On second thought, somebody give _me_ some sedatives."

Dr. Frasier looked up, smiling. "No one's going to give you anything except a pat on the back for finding Sam. Now, Colonel, please get out of the way and let us do our jobs."

"Damned ungrateful bunch," O'Neill stood up and walked stiffly down the ramp.

Sam lay sleeping in the infirmary, Jack sitting in the chair by the bed. She stirred slightly. He looked up. "Carter?"

She opened her eyes. "Colonel." She smiled. "I think I'm still a little bit groggy."

"It took Dr. Frasier over an hour to get everything cleaned out and patched up." Jack said. He stood up and put his hands in his pockets.

She slowly touched her leg and head, assessing the damage. "Not too bad. Nothing else?" she said feeling across her sides and abdomen. "No blast shrapnel?"

"No, Carter." Jack smiled. She was beautiful even when she was drugged up.

"I can still wear that sweet little tank top number?" She smiled sleepily and put her head back on the pillow.

Jack laughed. A nurse several beds over shushed him. "You _remember_ that?"

"A girl doesn't forget the first time her CO makes a pass at her."

Jack smiled, looked at the floor for a few moments, and looked back up. Sam wanted to touch his face, or his hands… Instead, they just stared at each other. After a while, Jack sat down.

"Carter?"

"Yes, sir."

"When we found you, Jacob had the gun and you had the new computer chip. You knew the gun wouldn't work very well without the chip."

"That's true, sir."

"Why did you leave the gun with Jacob? You knew the- the- thing wanted that chip. It was after _you._ You could have defended yourself with the chip and the gun together, but not with one of them missing."

"If I failed- if there was more than one- they'd have complete possession of the only technology that can stop them." Sam explained.

"You deliberately left the gun, then." Jack said quietly.

"Yes, sir. It was the logical thing to do." Sam sat up a little.

"You could have been killed, Sam."

"I kind of expected to be, sir," she sighed.

"Carter, if you ever let yourself get killed, I just want you to know that I'll be very, very angry with you." Jack looked at her steadily.

"I'll keep it in mind, Colonel." Sam smiled. Jack shook his head and left.

He stood outside in the hallway, hands in his pockets. What if he'd been there and she'd been in radio contact? What if she'd told him what she was going to do? He sighed. She'd have done it no matter what he'd said. But he did worry about what that might have been. He wondered about keeping her in his command.

After that, Jack kept his distance. There just was no middle ground. She was like a magnet. If he got close enough to feel anything, he just ended up wanting everything.

He sat in Daniel's office with his feet up on the only available space on the table looking at a doodad Daniel had picked up off-world.

"Don't break that, Jack." Daniel warned.

"It's a _rock_ Daniel."

"Rocks break. Sand comes from the mountains." Daniel tilted his head.

"Oh, don't go all ascended on my ass right now, buddy." Jack tossed the object up onto the table. It didn't break.

Daniel looked at him.

"What?" Jack asked, irritably.

"It's not going well with Sam, is it?" he said, perceptively. Of course, the fact that she hadn't been terribly perky, either, help fuel his suspicions.

Jack didn't say anything.

"You've got a problem Jack, a big one. Some day you're going to have to face it or you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life."

Jack took his feet down and nodded slightly. He smiled wryly at Daniel. "Have fun with your rocks." He started out the door, and turned around. "Thanks, Daniel." He left.


	5. Chapter 5

It was like hell on earth, only it wasn't earth. Sam didn't remember much except taking up her post behind a large dressed stone block, and firing as fast as she could, the dust and smoke making it hard to see. The smell and taste of sulphur in the air. She remembered seeing Jack get up to go- where? The blast hit him so hard, the momentum threw his head forward and the P-90 went out of his hand. Smoke rising from his vest. She'd lifted him up under his arms and pulled him back behind the stone blocks, not knowing if she was hauling a dead man. Her calls for a medic- Daniel's calls for a medic- where was Janet?

Somehow they all got through the gate, three of them casualties.

Sam brushed by the annoying little documentary filmmaker they'd been working with and went into the women's locker room. The only other woman who would have been in there to talk to her lay dead a few rooms away. Sam sat, alone in the locker room, her head in her hands. _Please, Jack, don't die on me. Janet's not here to save you. _

_Janet. Couldn't you have sent a medic? You are- were our lead physician. You didn't need to go- why this time? Oh, no- Cassie. _

Sam lay down on the bench, gripping the sides, staring at the ceiling. She was afraid to move, afraid to open the door and hear the news. She'd rather not know. Right now, Jack's alive. He'll be alive as long as I stay in here. Like Schrödinger's kitten- just don't open the box. In a few minutes, she was fast asleep, dried tear tracks in the dirt on her face.

Some time later, a Lieutenant opened the door. "Major Carter, ma'am." Sam didn't stir. The young woman hesitated then touched her shoulder. "Major Carter."

Carter opened her eyes. Oh, my God. They opened the box.

"Yes, Lieutenant." Her blood ran cold as she sat stiffly on the side of the bench, not breathing.

"Colonel O'Neill would like a word with you."

Carter looked at her, the words ringing through her mind like church bells, setting her heart free.

"Ma'am?"

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Dismissed."

She slowly put her head in her hands and stared at the floor until she could breathe again. Then she got up, splashed some water on her face, and went down to the infirmary.

"Carter." O'Neill looked at her. She was still in her fatigues. Blood was on her pants. His blood. "Thanks for saving my life." She looked back at him. The intensity of the relief and love on her face caused him to look away.

"I didn't. Dr. Brown did." Carter said, biting her lip. She had her hands clasped tightly behind her back.

"Dr. Brown? Where's Frasier?" Jack was puzzled. Only she knew how incredibly patched up he was, inside and out. No one else was brave enough to try to take care of him.

"Jack, Janet's dead." Sam shut her eyes, tightly, willing the tears away.

"Oh, God. Sam." He looked her. He couldn't even hold her hand. Jack stared at the ceiling. A few minutes passed. "How?"

'She was hit taking care of Wells. They had cover, but the Jaffa came out of nowhere. It happened right after you were hit. I heard Daniel on the radio."

After he was hit. Jack took a deep breath, and turned his head to look at her. "Were you her cover, too, Sam?"

Sam put her hands on the bed rail and gripped it tight. They were shaking. "What are you saying, sir?"

"Did you leave your post because of me?" Jack said gently.

"You mean, did I allow Dr. Frasier to be shot, sir?" Sam's eyes flashed.

Jack said nothing. He waited.

"No, _Colonel_, I was no where near Wells, Frasier and Jackson. They were in the trees out of my field of vision, _sir._ I was holding a defensive position which you asked me to hold." Sam's voice was barely controlled. Her breath was coming deep and fast.

"I don't remember very much, Sam. I'm sorry." Jack regretted what he had done. Kick her while she's down, O'Neill. Good job. It could have waited.

He went back to the beginning. "You pulled me out of the line of fire and had the bleeding stopped before the medics got there, Sam. They told me." His kind brown eyes tried to melt through her anger.

"Good." Sam said. "I saved you so you could doubt me another day." She turned around and walked out, wiping her eyes.

Jack was ready to go home in two days. He hadn't seen Sam at all during that time. Daniel was right; he was a real bastard at times. Without a doubt, she spent the day of the fight waiting to see if he was dead or alive, knowing Janet was dead, and then being blamed for that. He couldn't be her commanding officer and her lover, the rules were there for a reason. Somehow, she was just able to handle the situation better, but he couldn't, and Jack was sure she would asked to be reassigned just to get away from him. He sat on the edge of the bed, his head down, alone in the solitude of his memories, of what he'd let slip through his fingers. He certainly deserved whatever he got. He rubbed his eyes.

After a long while, Jack sighed and reached for his shirt. As he did, the door opened, and she stepped in.

* * *

"Come on, Sam." Daniel gently insisted. He wondered if Teal'c and he were going to have to forcibly remove her to the area of the ice cave where the rings cold be let down. 

Sam's head was down on her crossed arms as she sat on the ice by the stasis chamber. She rolled it back and forth with out looking up. "I can figure this out, Daniel. I just need some things and a little time."

"Major Carter, the only thing we can do now to help Colonel O'Neill is to find the Asgard." Teal'c said firmly.

"Teal'c's right. Sam- there's no writing here of any kind. And even if we do get Jack out, it'll kill him. The Ancient knowledge is still in his head."

"No, I know- I can- I can figure it out." Sam's speech was starting to slur.

"Sam!" Daniel said, taking her by her shoulders. "We've got to get you out of here." Damn, why didn't he think! She'd been down here for hours working, and the last hour, sitting directly on the ice. She was hypothermic.

"Help me, Teal'c." Daniel put one of her arms over his shoulder, while Teal'c took the other.

"No, Daniel. Please. I have to set his leg. He's got broken ribs. I… have to stay here or he'll freeze to death. Let me _go_!" Sam tore her arm from around Daniel's shoulder, pivoted and suddenly slipped on the ice. She hit her head against the narrow passageway wall as her body swung behind Teal'c's back.

Silently, Teal'c lifted her inert form and carried her toward the rings.

Aboard the cargo ship, Bra'tac hurried over to them as they appeared. "What is the matter, Teal'c?" Concern clouded his face.

"She would not leave, Master Bra'tac. She is very cold and struck her head."

"O'Neill?" Bra'tac took off his cape and tucked it around Carter.

"We could not find a way to free him." Teal'c's face was impassive, but his voice couldn't hide the distress he felt over O'Neill and Carter. He continued to hold her while Daniel went to work.

Daniel found as many jackets and blankets as he could. "Let's take her down to the center core, it'll be warmer with the engines and power crystals."

Teal'c finally laid Sam down in the nest of clothing Daniel scraped together. As they took off for Cheyenne Mountain, Sam woke up. Whether from the head injury or the hypothermia, she was still disoriented. "Jack," she whispered. "It's all right. We'll find a way home. I won't leave you."

Daniel sighed. This would be the third time Jack left Antarctica unconscious and near death- if they could get him out. He put both of his hands on Sam's cold face, and he wished she could just keep sleeping until they did.

* * *

Jack looked at Sam for a long while, soaking in those blue eyes and brilliant smile, while Teal'c helped her up. Jack was glad he had the replicator disintegrator in his two hands. Sam brushed the dust off of her pants. She was so relieved to see him alive that she had nothing to say. 

Daniel sighed. Just kiss her, Jack. Your secret's safe with us. But he knew Jack wouldn't, so he just said, "Let's get out of here." The four of them literally disappeared in a flash.

"You gonna tell me what happened down there, or what, Carter?" Jack asked, sliding down against one of the walls in a corridor of the _Daniel Jackson._ He was always annoyed by the lack of chairs on Asgard ships but surmised they wouldn't fit him, anyway, what with their tiny little butts. Sam sat next to him.

"Fifth played with my mind," she said tiredly.

"Ouch." Jack's voice changed to one of concern. He looked at her.

"He created this virtual reality where you and I were living up at your house on the lake, sir." Sam put her legs out straight.

"Is that so bad?" Jack didn't understand, and then added, "You don't know what my cabin looks like, yet."

Sam appreciated the "yet". She smiled a little.

"He got it from somewhere. Anyway, he intended for me to stay there with him- you."

"Oh." Jack vowed never to say anything about her extraterrestrial boyfriends ever again. It wasn't all fun and games being a beautiful interplanetary explorer, he guessed.

"How'd you know it wasn't me?" Jack asked, gently.

"For starters, he didn't get this quite right." She unzipped a small pocket on the inside of her waistband, and took out the ring.

They didn't say anything for a long time. Then the ship jumped into hyperspace.

"You know, Carter, I really am getting tired of tracking you down on _this_ planet or _that_ ship." Jack elbowed her.

"Sorry, sir." She said, feeling a little better now.

"You do have a tendency to wander off."

"You have a tendency to leave us thinking you're dead." Sam looked up at him.

"Well, at least I'm not _actually_ dead, like some people can be." Jack nodded in the general direction of Daniel, who was standing far away, at the bridge.

"Didn't Ba'al kill you a couple of times, sir?" Sam asked insouciantly.

"Maybe, but you didn't _know_ about that, Sam. It doesn't count." Jack rested his hand on her leg. "And you've only been dead twice."

"Yes, but once it was you who killed me so I get bonus points for that."

Jack cocked his head, "Keeping score, are we?"

"We'll need something to fight about when we're old and grey."

Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Well, when we're old." Her eyes sparkled.

"That's better." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Jack…"

"I know, I know. I'm just so damned glad to see you, Sam." He squeezed her leg and put his head back against the wall, eyes closed. She put her head on his shoulder. In a few hours, they were home.

Daniel came around to wake them up before Thor unexpectedly transported them down just as they were- as Thor tended to do.

* * *

Sam was beaming as she came down the ramp. Teal'c, Daniel and the other members of the SGC clustered around her with their heartfelt congratulations. Lt. Colonel Carter. It had a nice ring to it. She'd completely lost all perspective regarding her work and her capabilities. She'd come to view the extraordinary as the ordinary, but the Air Force evidently disagreed. Still, Sam was completely taken by surprise. 

Jack stood at the podium and gathered up a few loose papers. He was proud of and happy for her. Not so happy for himself. He'd sworn to stay with her out in the field- not that that always happened, as the last few months had clearly demonstrated. Now it would virtually never happen. He knew she was capable, more than capable to lead SG-1. It wasn't a question of that. He knew he couldn't bring up the idea of giving up the gate with her, because that's exactly what she'd think he believed- that she didn't have it in her. He didn't think she'd ever forgotten what he asked her about Janet's death even though he'd been wrong; and she never quit trying to prove herself.

The crowd was filtering out to go to the mess for a little congratulations ceremony. Jack went upstairs to his office, alone. Well, he'd made it to be a General, which mostly comforting because it meant he hadn't been killed along the way. Then it struck him how selfish he'd always been about it, ever since he was young. Now the tables were turned and he'd be the one worrying. Payback's a bitch, O'Neill.

They could have a week left- or thirty years. Moping about it wasn't going to help. Might as well make the best of it. Jack sat down and absentmindedly straightened out some papers on his desk. He looked at his phone for a minute, then picked it up and dialed.

"Yes, this is General O'Neill. I'd like to talk with General Hammond." Jack waited. "General, yes, nice to hear from you, too, sir. Yes, I know, sorry. George."

Jack swiveled in his chair and looked down. "I'd like to thank you for holding off on Carter's promotion ceremony for me. Uh huh. Yes, it went well, thanks. I also have a question for you. A favor. Do you have a minute?" Jack got up and shut the door.

"You asked to see me, sir?" Carter stood in the doorway.

"Congratulations, Carter." Jack smiled.

"Thanks for putting in a word for me, sir." She was radiant.

"You know the paperwork takes forever. I didn't do anything except pin the doodads on." He put his hands behind his head and smiled at her. She looked great in her dress uniform. Too bad he didn't get to see it more often.

"Sir?" She broke his reverie.

"Yes, Carter." He sat up. "How would you like to lead SG-1?"

She took a sharp breath in. "I would. Very much, if you think so."

"Oh, come on, Carter, you already have on a couple of occasions. That is, when you haven't taken off on your own." Jack smiled at her modesty.

"I'll try to cut back on that, sir." She was beaming, and that smile shattered his heart into a hundred little pieces. He could not possibly ask her to stop going through the gate. Not until she wanted to. Now he was absolutely sure of that.

But Hammond had told him what he _could_ do, if he were brave enough.

"Have a seat, Carter." Jack gestured to the chair. Sam sat down. His whole tone had changed. His smile was gone. Her heart began to pound.

Jack got up. Sam watched him come around the desk to sit next to her. He was so handsome, it hurt to look at him, but it was the sadness in his eyes that was killing her.

"Sam, where's that ring?" he asked, quietly.

_No, she thought, don't do this, Jack. We'll work it out._ Hands shaking, she removed it from her pocket. She didn't give it to him. She remembered what he said about them both going through the gate. We both go, or we both don't go. Yet, she was going and he was not.

He opened her hand and took it. Jack toyed with it for a moment, then looked at her. His eyes so dark, hers like the ocean.

Then he picked up her left hand and slipped it on her finger. "There's another one where that came from, if you want it."

She was stunned. She blinked rapidly, holding back the tears.

"I don't want you to go out in the field. We've been damn lucky and some day that luck might run out. But I've never stopped you from doing what was right because it was dangerous, and the SGC needs you out there." He sighed. "You're our most experienced field officer." Jack looked up at her. "Hammond said he'd back us up on this."

Sam's heart was breaking. Now she understood his sadness. She ought to let him go, not put him through this. Then her mind drifted back to the few days they'd had together all those months ago, and knew that would never work. It wouldn't matter where they were or what they did. It had always been this way and always would be. Magnets. She smiled.

"All right, Jack."

Jack sat back with a sigh and wiped his palms on his pants legs.

"Okay, come on." He stood up and held out his hand.

"What?" Sam was completely confused.

"We're all dressed up with somewhere to go." Jack grinned.

"Don't we need tests or something?" Sam stuttered.

"Not in Colorado, we don't." He stopped. "But there is something we do need." He lifted up his phone. "Hi. Page Dr. Jackson, and Teal'c to my office, please." He put down the phone.

"We couldn't have made it without them." Sam smiled, her eyes tearing up with gratitude that her words couldn't express. "And it was Janet who literally gave me a shove in the right direction."

Jack tipped Sam's head back and brushed the hair away from her face, gently kissing away her tears. "No, we couldn't have, and we're not doing this without them, either."

Then there was a welcomed knock on the door. "What's wrong, guys?" Daniel asked with concern, Teal'c standing behind him. They'd been wondering why O'Neill and Carter had left their own party.

Jack smiled at Sam. "For once, not one damn thing."


End file.
